My Gym Teacher Is an Alien Overlord by David Solomons

Author:David Solomons
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group
Published: 2016-06-09T13:47:30+00:00

The Perfect Kissing Machine

The sue-dunham Special Forces gym teacher stood with her feet shoulder-width apart, knees slightly bent, arms hanging relaxed at her sides—a lot like the stance Miss Dunham had demonstrated when teaching us how to throw a basketball. Her eyes locked onto us like a missile-guidance system. Pedestrians flowed around her, unaware of the alien terror in their midst.

“Has your battery recharged?” I asked Christopher Talbot.

“Not yet,” he said.

“It’s not the best superpower ever, is it?”

“No,” he agreed glumly.

And then something remarkable happened. Christopher Talbot’s expression hardened. He straightened to his full height, dropped his hands to his hips, and waggled his fingers. He was preparing for either a free throw or a showdown.

“Luke, you have to go,” he said quietly.

“But what about you?”

He surveyed the sue-dunham commando coldly. “I’ve got this.”

I could hardly believe it—he was choosing to be a hero instead of a villain. “But without your power, how will you—”

“Never mind that.” He paused. “If I don’t make it, Luke, it’s up to you and your little friends.”

“We’re called S.C.A.R.F.,” I said.

He threw me a doubtful look. “S.C.A.R.F.? Really?”

“I’d like to see you come up with a better name,” I muttered.

“What are you waiting for?” He glowered. “Get out of here before I change my mind.”

I took off without another word. Merging with the crowd, I glanced back to see them square up to one another like a couple of Wild West gunslingers. As I hurried past Kay Jewelers, all the clocks in the window chimed noon. I hoped Christopher Talbot knew what he was doing.

The mall was just off Main Street. A stray chunk of the Nemesis asteroid had demolished part of it, but reconstruction was well under way, and it wasn’t all bad, since they were opening an Apple store. I arrived outside the main entrance to find it jammed with hordes of screaming people. They weren’t lining up for the latest iPhone.

Panicking shoppers stampeded out onto the street, bursting the doors off their hinges in their desperation to escape whatever was inside.

I pushed against the tide, squeezing past into the big, bright central atrium, now empty of people. Easy listening jazz played through the mall’s public address system, punctuated by announcements for coming events and special offers. Daylight streamed through the soaring glass roof. It reflected off the splintered glass of broken store windows, and highlighted bags full of new purchases abandoned across the white tiled floor.

It also dazzled off the cube-shaped head of a giant robot in the food court.

The robot stood thirty feet tall, with legs made for stomping, pile-driver arms, and clawed hands for crushing. What I guessed to be its electrohydraulic drive system made whirring and clunking noises as the robot lumbered across the mall floor. With its highly polished casing and retro styling, the robot had clearly been designed by the sue-dunham to look good on TV.

One great claw-hand swatted at the swooping Star Guy, who flew around its head like an annoying gnat. Its other hand clutched the screaming figure of the Cara-borg.

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